Bleh
As evidenced by the photo a few days ago, I am exhausted. I think I could tell you exactly why, but the truth is, I have no real interest in being exhausted: it annoys me. Which isn't particularly helpful.
In continuing in my attempt to live a small and graceful life, I am trying to pay attention to moments of beauty and be aware of being in those where it seems to be lacking.
I was talking to a woman on the phone at work a couple of days ago, and Hillary Clinton was yelling in the background. Yelling, not simply speaking. I realize the U.S. is in the middle of a major, probably positive shift, and that we, as Canadians, need to be caring about this. But she was yelling. No peace to be found, no quiet moments, just YELLING.
I live in an environment where there's pretty much constant noise pollution: my roommate basically lives with a soundtrack - often reality television, something I don't watch, and I contribute my own noise; my workplace is basically 500 noisy boys and men; my ipod runs when I'm by myself, sometimes just to drown out noisy conversations about who friended who on facebook (seriously, we have problems here).
I want quiet mornings, times filled with either mellifluous voices on the CBC, restful lovely music or even just, possibly most beautiful of all, pure gentle silence. I want soundtracks that don't include Hillary yelling or housemates shouting at each other over who should be eating peanut butter. I'm working on it.
In continued efforts to make my life a little more peaceful, I cleaned the bathroom today. No, no, hear me out. I wander around this apartment, loving its nooks and odd bits. But, at the same time, almost every one of those spaces contains a mental to do list: the dishes aren't done, vacuuming should be, this needs to be picked up, that needs to be put away. And I came to the downstairs bathroom which is almost empty, quiet and white, and small; it too was messy, in need of cleaning. And I figured, here's one small space where I can give 20 minutes of my time, and get back a few moments a day of being blissfully free and clear of a to do list writing itself.
